Release of Emotions

Then your body marinates in that avoided anger and sadness.

Let’s say your life is pretty good. You have a roof over your head, food on your table and a great education. Is it ok not to be “ok”?  Do you ever feel guilty for being sad? You have a family that loves you and friends that care, yet when it comes down to it, that moment when your conscious and subconscious feelings collide you feel alone. Your first reaction is to pretend like it’s not happening and that “you’re fine”. Then your body marinates in that avoided anger and sadness; until the smallest thing sets you off and you lose all control over your physical and emotional body. Your body shakes because it’s not accustomed to this release of emotion and you’re ashamed for a reason unknown to your conscious mind so you hide in a dark corner or lock yourself in a room. Then you walk out as if nothing happened and you keep living your life, as your dam slowly cracks until one day it finally gives way again. All this to say, yes, it is okay not to be “ok”. What’s not ok is letting it go on forever. So, for now, don’t be “ok”, cry behind a closed door. When you’re ready you’ll let someone see you cry and you’ll see that those releases of emotion are what’s keeping you going. Those tears are coating your face with strength. See those streaks, left by tears on your face, as tiger stripes. That’s your war paint.