To my first

CHAPTER 8

To my first...

You were my first brain injury and unfortunately not my last. When I read and see people talk about their hardships and injuries it usually ends with them thanking their hardship because, it made them "the person they are today". But honestly, today sucks, you suck. I'm not happy with the person I am today and I'm not happy that I've spent the last eight years in pain. I don't like not knowing how long this will last and I don't like not remember what it was like before you. If it weren't for the pain I would be alone in my mind. You're my constant thought and when I don't think about you, your presence pops up in my mind. Most people don't understand, and how can they if I don't understand myself. The last eight years I've met people as quickly as I've lost them. I've spent hours with new friends, sometimes days, never weeks. People don't ask how I am, they ask how you are, if you've changed, if you've moved, if you've grown, how long you’ve been with me. However, in a twisted way you've been the one thing I could count on, to be there day in and day out and sometimes I wonder how it'll be when one day I wake up and you’re not there. I might not miss you, but I'll wonder. I’ll wonder if you’ve moved on to someone else, or if you’ve just gone and disappeared. I’ll wonder if anything I’ve done or the doctors have done made you go away. But for now, I wonder how I can continue to live with you, and how one day I’ll live without you. I’m not ready to thank you just yet.

That person whose thoughts you overwhelm,

The one who's mind you're in