Our relationship is bittersweet, the more nights I stay up talking to you the worst I feel. The more we chat the less my body heals. But I enjoy our late-night chats. I like to think about what could've been, the people I've met, the people I don't see, what I should've said, what I would dream about if I could sleep.

Here are a few actual responses I’ve given guys after they’ve said they like me: “no”, “you’re wrong” and “thank you”.

However, in a twisted way you've been the one thing I could count on, to be there day in and day out and sometimes I wonder how it'll be when one day I wake up and you’re not there.

Doormen are so much more than just the gate keepers, they are an extension of our family. They’ve been through it all with us, they’ve found cabs for our pregnant moms, and were the first strangers we met coming home from the hospital. They see us off to our first day of school, our last day.

I can only speak to my experience because, like a lot of things, chronic illnesses and head injury symptoms manifest in completely different ways for everyone. In my case the head injuries came first and from those traumas emerged the chronic illness.

“fuck no! I don’t want to be a blogger lifestyle chick!” Truly, not that there is anything wrong with that, it’s just not my brand. My lifestyle isn’t really one, to be honest.

As I stood there among other teachers, one of which being my home room teacher, you walked into the elevator. Upon seeing me you exhaled in disgust as if I had disturbed you in some awful way. I had seen you pass by me in the halls, we had never spoken and you didn't know me. You walked towards me, then turned your back and said, with a chuckle, to the other teachers, just loud enough for me to hear you, "this one thinks she's at the beach". The teachers all laughed…

This got me thinking, how important are last words? Or rather what are more impactful the last words or the most memorable words? Are the last words, of a loved one, their most memorable words? Who’s to say, maybe they’re one in the same.

For every day that I had to come and make sure you were doing your job, I needed weeks to recover. Every hour I spent worrying about the future of my education, meant my health was slowly deteriorating.

Yes, halfway through reading this you’re gonna think “is this chick high?”, but just hear me out.

I like to go through the maze without the map and you like using the map.

What is a more powerful emotion, Like or Love?

You make me feel like more than a patient and more than just another source of cash.

I cried, threw up for hours, and shook violently until I fell asleep.

Emotionally, I’m broken because I’ve been reduced to being a doctor’s next patient and my friends are the nurses and doctors trying to fix what you’ve broken.

Then your body marinates in that avoided ager and sadness.

2 and a half hours before I walked into your hospital I fell 25 feet.

How are you, really?

But then again, whatever plan or non-plan I had someone had a different one in mind

The cops were very nice and as soon as we told them that, no, we did not hop the border